Nothing like a walloping pop in the chops to get your attention, is there?
I’ve been through an awful lot of training preparing for this deployment, most of it (so far) online. I made a plan to do the routine, tedious, less-fun training first so I could save the more interesting/entertaining for last (sort of as a reward for getting through the not-so-fun stuff). Here’s a list of the online trainings I did:
What I thought would be less fun and/or interesting:
- Policy on human relations, equal opportunity, prevention of sexual harassment, sexual assault prevention and response, free exercise of religion, suicide prevention, and professional and unprofessional relationships,
- Security procedures for computers and various types of information, Operations Security (OPSEC), Force Protection, and Law of Armed Conflict
- Biometrics and collection/reporting of information
- Chemical, biological, radiation, and nuclear (CBRN) weapons defense and awareness
- Self Aid and Buddy Care (SABC) (complete with very graphic videos of spurting arteries and sucking chest wounds)
- Survival, Evasion, Resistance, and Escape (SERE)
- Explosive Ordnance Reconnaissance (EOR), Counter-Improvised Explosive Device (C-IED) awareness, counterinsurgency
What I saved for last since I thought it would be more fun:
- General and specific Afghan culture
- Dari language
I did the counterinsurgency training right before culture and language. Counterinsurgency training concentrated heavily on the International Security Assistance Force (ISAF) mission:
In support of the Government of the Islamic Republic of Afghanistan, ISAF conducts operations in Afghanistan to reduce the capability and will of the insurgency, support the growth in capacity and capability of the Afghan National Security Forces (ANSF), and facilitate improvements in governance and socio-economic development in order to provide a secure environment for sustainable stability that is observable to the population.
Other ISAF goals include assisting the Afghan government in establishing a secure and stable environment, supporting reconstruction and development, and helping Afghan Authorities establish good governance and rule of law. This is the ISAF patch I’ll wear on my uniform:
After this inspirational ISAF training, the cultural training that stressed the importance of relationship-building and the Afghans’s world-famous hospitality, and this introduction to the language lessons: “Language training helps deployed Airman [sic] establish bonds and build positive relationships with local nationals by extending and understanding greetings, courtesies, and social customs in the local languages,” imagine my surprise when the first language lesson consisted of learning the following 15 words and phrases in Dari (the language spoken in the Bagram area):
- Stop!
- Hands up!
- Do you have weapons?
- Drop your weapon!
- Put your weapon down
- Stop the vehicle
- We will search your car
- What is your name?
- Show me your identification
- Do you understand?
- Do you need help?
- Do you need medical attention?
- What direction?
- Excuse me/I’m sorry
- You can leave
These are greetings and courtesies?
I had expected something along the lines of “Hello” or “Nice to meet you” or some other message that would intone “We come in peace” rather than the hostile phrases presented. After all that ISAF propaganda, this language lesson was a slap in the face. I admit, it upset me and made me angry. Insulted, even. I was all geared up to be culturally sensitive and respectful, not to man a checkpoint and screen local nationals to see who might be a bad guy.
But after thinking about it for a while, I realized that this was exactly the right language lesson for me to see first…
As I prepare for this deployment, wonderfully well-meaning friends and coworkers keep telling me how much fun I’ll have and what a great adventure this will be, while reminding me in a footnote to “be careful” and “be safe”. My rude Dari language lesson puts the Be Careful message right up front, where it needs to be: I’m not going on vacation or on a cultural exchange trip, I’m going to a combat zone to support American and Coalition warfighters in an environment where murderers are disguised as the local guy on the street (or worse, in the uniforms of Afghan police). I damn well better never forget this fact, for my own safety and the safety of everyone around me.
Well done, language training module organizers, well done. I get it. It makes me sad that I needed this lesson, but I’m glad I got it and I won’t forget it.
MM
PS — Later language modules included the hellos and pleases and thank yous I was expecting, but none of them will stick with me like that emotional first lesson.